If It Means Nothing To You
by Fayonaise
Summary: A look at Tommy and Irisa's relationship after the events of 'The Serpent's Egg'.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

**So hey guys! My friend and I were like writing this RP on our tumblrs between Tommy and Irisa and a few people suggested that we post it as a fanfic. So thus I am posting it here.**

**I don't know if its crappy or whatever. But I hope you like it anyway 3 We're still continuing so expect updates! Rated M just to be sure – who knows what's going to happen in the future.**

**Title was inspired by the song 'Delicate' by Damien Rice**

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Irisa was avoiding Tommy like the Irathient plague. She refused to speak to him and would leave the room as soon as he entered. But being law keeper alongside him was proving to be a challenge.

She knew that he'd get attached to her – just a one time thing between two people in the heat of the moment. Irisa had convinced herself that the copulation was insignificant and would not be happening in the future.

Irisa knew that sooner or later he would confront her,yearning for an explanation. But she had told herself that she would not be willing to give one. What was done is done, and Irisa refused to make any further advances on the situation.

Irisa didn't like to get close to people. The only person she would ever let get close to her was Nolan, and now she was afraid she had lead Tommy in the wrong direction. She felt as if she had given Tommy candy and harshly snatched it away from him. Perhaps she felt somewhat remorseful for that, but she was adamant that she would take this no further than it had to go.

Currently Irisa was perched on the desk in the law keepers office; sharpening her throwing knives whilst waiting for Nolan to return. She heard the familiar creak of the door opening - not thinking anything of it. Expecting Nolan to waltz into the office Irisa yelled to whom she thought was her father. "If I knew you were going to take this long I would have sent out a search party!".

"I didn't think you cared too much about me since you've been avoiding me like the plague." Tommy said smiling at the fact that Irisa had him pegged as the wrong Law keeper. He stood behind her as she spun around, eyes wider than normal, obviously embarrassed. "Relax, I'm not going to tell anyone about anything. So it makes sense if you don't want to bring it up."

He put his rifle on the table and pulled a seat up across from the Irath, looking into her big eyes the way he always did. He wasn't so shocked that she was mute about their sexual encounter than had happened days ago. But that didn't mean he was happy about her being so stand offish. He decided to just chat, like they used to, before she literally jumped his bones.

"So Nolan isn't back yet? I talked to him a few hours ago." He had it in his mind Nolan was probably taking a 'lunch' break with Kenya at NeedWant. "Well I'm sure he's…busy in some fashion." Irisa threw him a look of disgust, knowing what he was hinting at. Tommy smiled and assured he was kidding. "He is probably still on call with Datak. Seriously. I'm sure he's not doing anything inappropriate while he's on duty." He smiled, knowing what he was insinuating.

She made no facial expression to indicate she recognized his joke, so he put it to rest. Harping on it wouldn't do him or her any favours. He picked up his gun again and cleaned it for a few moments before speaking again. "Got any leads we can check up on to pass the time till Nolan gets back?"

Irisa almost choked when she heard the voice calling out to her reply. He wasn't supposed to be here for at least another hour. She spun round from her position on the desk, staring wide eyed at the law keeper.

Her eyes followed him intently as he pulled a chair across from her, glaring at him the entire time. As he made a snide remark about her father; staring at him with a look of disgust plaguing her features, biting back an insult she'd prepared in her mind.

"No, I don't have any leads" Irisa spat with force in response to his question, concentrating on sharpening her knives again. What she had done a few days ago was rash and uncharacteristic. She was mentally kicking herself for doing such a thing.

Irisa looked up from her knives, noticing Tommy was staring at her. Irisa then launched one of her throwing knives across the room, skimming past his head into the wall behind him. She shrugged and feigned an innocent smile. "My knives are almost as small as…." she trailed off, knowing full well he knew what she was hinting at. Of course she was only teasing, but she wasn't going to tell him that.

At this point Irisa pulled herself off the desk situated in the centre of the room and stalked to the other side to retrieve her hailer and knife holster that she'd placed there earlier that day. When she had collected her items she turned around to move back to the desk when her eyes locked onto Tommy. Irisa was confused at this point and opened her mouth to speak. "What?!" was all she could muster.


	2. Chapter 2

He laughed finally, after breaking his serious demeanor. "Don't lie about the size, Irisa. Your knives are pretty small though, that I'll give you." He jumped as another knife whizzed by is ear. He shook his head to wipe out the nerves; he didn't think she'd hit him, but dodging knives still wasn't fun.

He looked at her again, hands up in surrender so he wouldn't have to continue being a target for throwing practice. "Listen, Irisa, don't you think we should probably discuss what happened in here at some point? We don't have to act on it again," He was lying, he desperately wanted to act on it again. "But we should discuss it. That's probably safer than target practice."

He wanted to tell her how good she made him feel, not only in that instance, but when she was around. When they spent time together he genuinely laughed at things she did and said that were funny. He wanted to tell her that the time they spent together always made him feel alive and like he was doing something worthwhile. But they didn't have to discuss that now. "Let's at least talk about something. We don't have to talk about _that if_ you don't want to, but I'm not going to sit here and not talk to you." He leaned back in his chair casually, waiting for a reply.

Irisa stalked over to where Tommy was, knife in hand. She stood directly before him; it was her turn to speak. "Hmm, I don't know. I like using you as target practice. Perhaps I'll get you . " she said, positioning her knife slowly at the top of his nose, careful not to leave a mark. She smiled lightly before withdrawing her knife.

She liked to taunt him. It was one of the things that got her through the days in Defiance. Their friendship had reached that stage where they would throw abusive comments to each other and laugh about it. That is, if she could still call it a friendship.

She knew the issue had to be addressed, she was just avoiding the subject. She had a habit of doing that. Irisa pulled up a chair, turning it so the back was facing Tommy. She straddled the chair, chest resting up against the back, arms position at the top of the chair. "And what, exactly, do you want to discuss?" she asked. She knew what he wanted to talk about, she just didn't care to bring it up herself.

He had that grin on his face again; that mischievous grin she knew so well. She knew more about the looks he gave than she'd like to let on. They'd spent so much time together it was hard not to notice such things. She cleared her throat, waiting for his response, not that she particularly wanted to hear it. "Well?".


	3. Chapter 3

He knew now that Irisa was just toying with him. She probably wanted him to bring up the fact the had had sex on the floor right beneath their chairs just so she could get mad or use it against him in some capacity. As much as he liked her, he wasn't in the mood for that type of game today.

"You know knives like these," He reached across the table in a fluid motion and grabbed the knife by its blade right out of her hand, twirling it in his finger as he inspected it. "Really only get you so far. I've seen you use a rifle against the Volge, but do you really now how to use a gun?" He was handing her his rifle now, which she hesitated to grab.

When she held it in her hands, sideways and not ready for use, he smiled a bit, exposing himself to how much he was attracted to the young Irathient. "It suits you. Maybe even better then these knives." She gave him a look that meant she was not fond of that compliment; he very well knew she was very protective of her knives and her skills with them.

"Look, why don't I show you how to properly and effectively use this," He grabbed the gun while sliding the knife back to her across the table, blade first to give her a bit of a scare. "and maybe if you're nice and not wanting to use my head as practice, you can show me why you're such a master with those?" He watched her process the information in her head, and hoped they would be able to trade skills until it was time to discuss the inevitable.

Irisa rolled her eyes at Tommy's actions. Her knives had always been an effective form of defence in the badlands. She had no idea why he wanted to teach her how to shoot a gun now. "I know how to shoot a gun" was all she responded with.

Tommy's smile faded at this point. Irisa sighed, watching the hopeful look slide from his face. Irisa felt bad for the guy, he'd been by her side the entire time she'd been in Defiance and now she was leading him round like a lost puppy. She lifted her hands up in defence. "Fine, fine. I'll let you try and teach me how to shoot". And then there was that glimmer in his eyes again.

"I'll teach you a few tricks of the trade, its harder than it looks" Irisa said, finger running up and down the edge of the blade. Tommy stared at her wide eyed as she did so, a look of concern about him. Irisa and her knives were like one entity now, she rarely harmed herself with her own knives.

And then there was that moment of silent between the two of them again. Irisa had never been one for conversation, but even this was too quiet for her. Perhaps jumping him was a bad idea after all. Irisa's eyes flick back and forth from the gun the boy held to his face again. She watched him raise his eyebrows at her as she continued her notions.

"And how exactly did you become so good with that thing anyway?".

He had thought for a moment there Irisa was just going to leave him out to dry. Again. Luckily she had decided to take him up on his offer, so he'd be able to teach her how to be a riflewoman, and he an expert, or well at least decent with knives. He smiled at her question about being so good with 'that thing'. "What thing, exactly?" He winked and she rolled her eyes. He loved that.

"Okay, seriously, I was trained to be a law keeper, so I had to go through extensive fire arms training before I was taken on as an officer. Nolan obviously knew how to shoot, you were kind of just grandfathered in since no one really cares to argue with Nolan." She glared again. "Not that you too don't possess the skills, Irisa. I'm just helping you to fine tune them." Her face lightened at his sort-of compliment. _Tough crowd_, he thought.

They had the smallest shooting range would could imagine in the back of the station. It was rarely ever used, but they had nothing going on; no leads, no visitors. This seemed like a time good as any to do some shooting. It was a range after all, it wasn't like they weren't allowed to shoot there.

"Okay I know that you know how to use it. But here's how to properly hold it when arriving to the scene. You want to be careful, steady, and alert. Firing too many shots can make it dangerous and hectic. Not firing enough accurately…deadly." He handed the gun off to her and she held it all but perfect based on what he had showed her. He took the gun back and fired a single round through the centre of the target. "Give it a g-."

Bulls eye.


	4. Chapter 4

Tommy was just full of crude jokes today, although Irisa wasn't complaining. The tension between them was rapidly increasing and she wasn't entirely sure how much longer she could endure it.

She'd never been to the shooting range before - hell she didn't even know that there was a shooting range in Defiance. But nevertheless she followed Tommy accordingly. She thought originally that she had promised to let him teach her just to humour the guy. But it seemed as if he was teaching her more than she already knew.

She watched his steady movements as he explained the components of the gun and how to hold it properly; every move embedded into her memory. She mimicked his pose after he handed her the gun; it was now his turn to take the gun and demonstrate. She was mesmerized by his smooth flowing movements.

He turned to speak to her but Irisa cut him off. She tore the gun out of Tommy's hands, tossing it to the other side of the room behind her. His startled look was quickly reinforced by Irisa gripping the sides of his arms and pushing him back against the wall with force; much like that of their first encounter.

Irisa tackled his mouth with hers, every movement frantic; like she longed for his touch. His arms moving around her body, trying to touch every inch of her. But as quickly as this turn of events had occurred Irisa tore herself from his grip, all contact loss. The look of confusion hadn't left his face.

_"__Wow, I um... ____"_was all Irisa could muster in Irathient.

Tommy would be damned it he let go of Irisa this time as she struggled out of his grasp. He took a step towards her, and she tried to step away but he grabbed her arm and pulled her close, gripping her shoulders. He pulled her face up to hers, initiating nothing, just a gaze. He held his eyes on hers as long as he could without blinking.

"You don't get to do this to me again and then shake it off like it's nothing. If you don't want to talk about it here, now, fine." He was angry that he was giving in, but he needed to offer her some respect at least. "But we are discussing this soon." He kissed her then and was pleased at least that she returned his gesture with a kiss herself.

They broke apart and Tommy walked directly outside, letting the air fill his senses to clear his head. He wanted figure out a place they could meet where they wouldn't be disturbed. He couldn't go to NeedWant, not with Nedah there, or even Nolan on a visit to see Kenya. He wanted it to be them, alone, no interruptions.

He walked back inside after a few minutes. He knew where to take her. "When Nolan goes to the NeedWant, because you know he's gonna, meet me at the diner, second to last booth on the right. I'll be there and we can talk about this. There isn't any point in pretending it didn't happen if you're gonna do that." He pointed to the range where she had kissed him again. He smiled, hoping to see she wasn't angry, just a guy who wanted to the girl he liked. A lot.

Irisa was startled by Tommy's actions. She thought this would end badly. That was until he kissed her again; she breathed a mental sigh of relief, gladly kissing him back. She thought it was fine, until he left the building.

Irisa mentally kicked herself, pulling a face of disgust to herself, letting out a frustrated growl. She'd gone and done it again. She was about to leave when she saw him walk over to her.

He explain what he wanted her to do and motioned to where she'd lost control over him again. Then he smiled that same smile he always did. A small smile tugged against her lips as she saw him smile. She'd been smitten by him.

"Fine". Irisa said in response to his question, trying to keep her forceful demeanour, staring into his eyes all the while. "I doubt that Nolan will stick around for more than a few hours after he returns".

She stared at him intently, their gaze locked. When she was finally able to remove herself from his gaze, Irisa turned to head back to the office. Half way through her travels she turned back to face Tommy, who was watching her leave. "If you tell anyone about this, I will kill you". Irisa said blankly. It wasn't until she saw the look on his face that made her smile lightly. "See you at the diner".

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**A/N – All words spoken in Irathient will be posted in Italics. Nedah is an OC in our RP group who works at the NeedWant. **


	5. Chapter 5

They spent the rest of the day not talking to each other even if there was work that needed to be done. They used a series of glances, head motions, and body movements to indicate what needed to be done around the station.

Nolan finally came back and Tommy took it upon himself to leave in order to properly prepare himself both mentally and physically for the meeting they were going to have later on. He wanted to make sure he wouldn't freak out on her if she acted the way she had been acting.

He told himself that getting frustrated would not get them going in the direction he wanted them to be going in. He let the water from his shower run down his back as he ran through all the different things he should say and how he should say it. Nothing seemed right, nothing seemed like something Irisa would respond to in a positive way.

He had an idea though, which he had learned from Irisa herself. I_'ll just, surprise her. _He thought. What could be the harm in surprising her like she had done him?

Irisa had been waiting the last 2 hours for Nolan to leave. Most of the time she enjoyed his company, but tonight she was too distracted. The anticipation of the upcoming meeting was rapidly building.

When he did finally leave, Irisa breathed a mental sigh of relief. Irisa wasn't very much of a forward thinker, she just decided that she was going to let the events take their own course.

When she finally did leave, Irisa mulled over the events past between her and Tommy. When had things changed so much? He'd just been a friend and now this? Quite frankly, Irisa wasn't sure how to even react to a situation like this. She'd never really been emotionally attached to someone in _that _way. This was all very new to her, and she feared the unknown terribly.

She made her way towards the diner where Tommy had asked her to meet him. In her mind, she was just going to let him do all of the talking - how well this plan went, was a different story. Tommy had not specified a time they were supposed to meet, so there was a 50/50 chance that either of them would be waiting for the other.

Irisa pushed open the door to the diner, waiting to see who made it there first.


	6. Chapter 6

He heard the diner door open and thought maybe that was her, finally. He realized that he hadn't really given a time to Irisa for their meeting, so he wasn't sure when she'd be arriving to his location. He had decided to sit with his back to the entrance to add an element of surprise for himself, as well as his "date". She wasn't really a date, but he liked calling her that since he hoped maybe by the end of this meeting they will be decided on going on an actual date. One could dream.

He felt the floor give as footsteps grew closer to him, and using his expert peripherals he saw her arm swing forward as she was about to take her seat at the table he had picked out he grabbed her arm, stopped her, and kissed her abruptly just as she had done him. As his hand was about to make its way to her face, she pushed against him and away from his embrace and his kiss. He was confused as to why she wouldn't respond now after doing this twice to him.

"Why is it okay for you to do this to me, but I can't do this to you?" He tried to remain calm, but it wasn't working; he liked Irisa too much and he wanted to know why she was rejecting him. "Thanks for coming, I guess, but I'm not really in the mood to talk anymore." He felt bad leaving, because he knew that this would only prolong talking about what had happened in the station. But staying there only made him feel worse.

She was taken aback by the kiss and pushing away was almost a natural response. The look on his face after her rejection tugged at her heart strings. She had this almost habit of pushing people away - it was a coping mechanism to avoid getting hurt.

As Tommy turned and walked towards the exit of the diner Irisa looked upon with narrowed eyes. She knew it was her fault but him leaving like that made her really mad. She stalked after him, fists bunched with cruel intentions - but highly unlikely that she would act upon them.

When she finally caught up with him she grabbed him by the back of his shoulder and pushed him up against a nearby wall so they were standing face to face. She looked at him, a clear look of anger in her eyes. Arms pinning him against the wall all the while.

"Why did you do that?!" Irisa said, voice laced with anger. "You expect me to show up somewhere and then you just leave?!". Irisa released her grip on him and backed up from against the wall where she had him held.

In reality, Irisa had no idea on how to react to someone after an intimate encounter. She was hardly experience in this area and she was insanely afraid of the unknown. That's why she decided to try and push him away, she was scared of being hurt. In her life she'd only learnt to trust one person and letting someone else in was a big deal to her.

"I'm sorry Tommy. I can be a ___haigyi _most of the time".

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**A/N The word 'Haigyi' means bitch in Irathient. **


	7. Chapter 7

Even though Tommy was furious that she had pushed him away in the diner, and even though he felt like an ass for leaving, he was relieved that she had chased after him. He wasn't proud of where his feet would have taken him if she hadn't stopped him.

He heard her questions and he answered with the first thing that came to his mind. "Because you really pissed me off back there. I took a risk, just as you did, but instead of accepting the risk, like I did, you rejected me." He sighed. "That's confusing. And don't be sorry, I was kind of a jerk before." He shrugged his shoulders, unsure of what else to say.

He saw Irisa typically during the day, so he really took notice to the way the moon danced in her eyes and on her orange features. "The moonlight really looks nice with your complexion." It sounded forced, his compliment, because he was still bitter about how he acted in the diner.

He didn't want to admit it, but he wasn't quit sure how to act around her at this point, knowing anything he could do could be taken any which way Irisa decided. He thought it was best to follow her lead for now.

"Wow that's rich coming from you. I came to you, expecting to talk and you just leave because you were pissed off? Who's the one who's rejecting now?". Irisa was getting more irritated by the minute. She was just unsure of how to act around others, and now she was made out to be the bad guy.

"I forget you don't understand Irathient, and yeah you kind of were an ass. I can't say I didn't deserve it though". She wanted to do something, something to show how bad she felt for doing all of this. She knew it was her fault and that she was toying with his emotions, she just didn't know how to show it to him.

As Tommy complimented her, her eyes dropped to the ground. She wasn't used to hearing such words from anyone - not even Nolan said things to her like that. Her mood instantly changed from irritated to confused. "Um…thanks?" She wasn't sure how to answer; she didn't want to seem rude but she didn't want to hurt his feelings either.

"So do you want to talk about this or..?". Irisa looked up searching Tommy's eyes for some indication towards an answer. She liked the guy, she really did. She just wasn't sure if she could allow herself to venture into that unknown space. What would happen next, was his call.

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**A/N: So that's all we have so far! As soon as we write some more, I'll update it here :) 3 **


	8. Chapter 8

"Of course I want to talk about it." He wanted to other things in relation to this circumstance but he knew that was out the question now that he had kissed her and basically ditched her afterwards. "Just…not now. I kinda wrecked everything back there and I don't want to talk about it now." He knew this was confusing and not at all helpful, but he was mad at himself for handling this whole thing like a complete shtako. "You tell me when you want to talk about it because obviously I'm doing everything wrong." He rolled his eyes and kicked his feet. He sounded like an idiot, he knew, but he didn't really care. He stood there and watched her try to decipher his words, waiting for his next trick. There wasn't one, he knew, but maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to keep her guessing. He didn't want to seem over eager, although he was, and he didn't want to appear like an idiot, even though he was. "Seriously, Irisa, you call the shots. You're obviously better at it than I am." He smiled stupidly, finally feeling like this was the right direction to take them.

Irisa rolled her eyes, he was being evasive again. "So talk about it now then". She didn't know what the big deal was and why he just wouldn't speak about it. It was just a one time thing right?

"I'm better at what?" Irisa was confused. She had no idea what the boy was talking about. He spent this whole time urging her to talk about the situation and now he'd closed up on her.

She didn't know what else to say to him. What else was she supposed to call the shots on. She knew he was hurting and saying anything out of line would piss him off further. "Tommy, listen. If you want to talk about it, then lets talk. You and me both know that you want to". She made the point of looking directly at him, so he knew she was serious. "I don't know what else you want me to say. Just tell me what you want Tommy".

"I want to be with you!" He blurted out, knowing that that was too blunt for Irisa. But she had asked him to say what he wanted to say, and so he did. "You and I had sex on the floor of the station!" He all but yelled, barely avoiding the stares of onlookers as they passed. "That means something, it has to. I know it does for me, so it has to for you too." He knew it didn't have to and it seemed like the experience they had shared hadn't meant a thing to her since denying him earlier in the day. He waited for her to say anything rather than staring at him from her big invasive eyes. "Just, tell me how you're feeling straight up." He motioned with his hands that he was ready to throw in the towel. "If you don't feel the same way I do…" He didn't want to say it but he did because he truly cared for the girl. "I'll leave you alone."

The bluntness of Tommy's statement threw Irisa off course. She just stood there in shock, willing herself not to portray it on her features. She knew people were staring, and that made her more conscious of her surroundings. She let the guy finish what he was saying before she decided to act.

Avoiding the looks they were receiving from passers by, Irisa grabbed Tommy by the arm and pulled him towards a nearby alleyway. Tommy seemed startled by her actions as she dragged him away from the scene they had just caused. "Do that again and I swear I will kill you painfully" she said with force. Irisa did not like receiving negative attention from others.

Checking her surroundings and making sure no onlookers were present, Irisa forcefully pushed Tommy up against the wall behind them. As she did so Irisa covered his mouth with her own, pressing her body up against his with force. After moments had past between the pair, Irisa finally broke away from the kiss.

"Does that answer your question?" was all she said.


	9. Chapter 9

Tommy was once again startled at the abruptness of Irisa feelings taking hold of them as she forced him against an alleyway wall and kissed him full on the mouth. He was of course very pleased with this action, but as she pulled away he couldn't help but think about the fact that she had done this - twice - and was still unsure of how she felt. "I..don't know if it does! You've done this three times now and I have no clue what it means."

She rolled her eyes and threw her hands up. He decided to answer her question. "Yes, Irisa," he grabbed her arm "it answers my question." He was still a bit confused on if he should make any sudden movements so he stood there awkwardly, his hand around her arm making sure she didn't run away. "Well, I'm just going to let you lead." He said waiting for her to decide their next step. "I'll give you a little push in a direction but you can take it any which way you'd like. that seems to work best with us." He laughed and tugged at her arm, seeing how she'd respond to that.

"And what direction, do you want to push me in?" She smile suggestively. Knowing he knew exactly what she was talking about She knew he hated it when he teased he because he didn't know whether she was serious or not. All the more fun for Irisa.

She knew what was ultimately going to happen between them. There was no denying that that was a fact. But Irisa had still tried to deny it anyway. Although she had finally come to the realization that this was no longer a one time thing between them,

In reality, they were two people living in a screwed up world, trying to find their place in life. Only, they'd found each other along the road. She'd never expected it to end up like this, and she was pretty sure Tommy felt the same way too.

Irisa, who was too caught up in her own head, was released from her thoughts as she felt a further tugging on her arm. Her eyes trailed up the arm that was clasped onto her own and looked at the culprits face. "Come on Lasalle, its your call".

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**A/N: So there we have it guys. We've reached the end of the road with this fic. But never fear, we're working on another one so that should make an appearance some time in the future. **

**I really appreciate you guys taking the time to read this. Apologies that the last chapter is so short. **

**But thanks again you guys, and look out for the new one in the very near future. **


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